A MISSOURI LAWYER'S
DECEMBER 22, 2006
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Greets and Huggers. Posted the evening of December 22, 2006. So,
what is funny? What makes you laugh? Why does some humor offend ... and other
humor have you rolling on the floor? Certainly an interesting question. Thought
about this issue in a different context, with the same analysis: BBC
NEWS --- Male circumcision 'cuts' HIV risk. "Circumcision can cut
the rate of HIV infection in heterosexual men by 50%, results from two African
trials show. The findings are so striking, the US National Institutes of Health
decided it would be unethical to continue and stopped the trials early." Since
Jewish folks are circumcised, I did a "google" on "Jewish
Aids", intending to find AIDs statistics for Jews, being significantly
lower than the rest of the world's populations. ... and found, instead this gem
of a Website: home page of the "Christian
Party", [Note: this Website is offensive ... period] It is difficult
for me to believe, there are human beings, so warped, so full of hate ... they
would actually take the time to post this cr*p. What would make a person so
insensitive to the undeniable fact, that we are all God's children? What would
make any professed "Christian" have such hatred for His creations?
Course, at the same time, if you believe in God, you have to believe in Satan.
There does seem to be ample evidence of his presence/evil in this world. I
suppose that begs the question, "What is evil"? I know what I
consider "evil", as I'm sure you do as well. But share with me ... is
there a universal definition? I don't think so. "Perhaps evil
is best represented in the human situation in the form of unprovoked hatred
against and coupled with an aggressive impulse to cause harm to another person
or group. Such hatred can be aroused from within the individual or group
through jealousy, wrong teachings or due to unexplained extra-personal
forces". So evil is culture specific? It may be ... but is it
universally definable? Probably not. Picture a "Bell Shaped Curve"
... with what we can all agree is evil at the center ... and what we can not
agree on, on one side and what we can, on the other. Look at the curve. Don't
the majority of us agree? With 5 percenters on opposing sides of the curve?
Perhaps "funny" is subject to the same "Bell Shaped Curve"?
What is funny, is funny for the majority of us. With one side of the curve,
rolling on the floor laughing ... and the other side ... deeply offended. The
fact remains, humor is humor. From what I see, usually an attempt to poke fun
at something ... and ... you and I may or may not agree, it is funny. BTW:
statistically, the per capita AIDS rate in Israel is lower than the world's
There was a debate on the SFIG about the economic impact of illegal aliens. Both sides in the debate quoted figures, arguing that illegal aliens contributed to our America and the converse, that illegal aliens take more than they give. Putting aside the obvious legal arguments, (there is a reason they are called "illegal"), I was curious what the actual financial numbers are. Based on the numbers crunched by the "Center for Immigration Studies", which claims to be a non-partisan research/think tank, (which they may or may not be) ... * Households headed by illegal aliens imposed more than $26.3 billion in costs on the federal government in 2002 and paid only $16 billion in taxes, creating a net fiscal deficit of almost $10.4 billion, or $2,700 per illegal household. ... * Among the largest costs are Medicaid ($2.5 billion); treatment for the uninsured ($2.2 billion); food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches ($1.9 billion); the federal prison and court systems ($1.6 billion); and federal aid to schools ($1.4 billion). ... * With nearly two-thirds of illegal aliens lacking a high school degree, the primary reason they create a fiscal deficit is their low education levels and resulting low incomes and tax payments, not their legal status or heavy use of most social services. On average, the costs that illegal households impose on federal coffers are less than half that of other households, but their tax payments are only one-fourth that of other households. Many of the costs associated with illegals are due to their American-born children, who are awarded U.S. citizenship at birth. Thus, greater efforts at barring illegals from federal programs will not reduce costs because their citizen children can continue to access them. The fact remains, we have a problem that is impacting middle class Americans. At my age, I don't think I have the intellectual horsepower left to learn Spanish ... I had enough of a problem learning English. Frankly, living in Holden, Missouri, I have no burning desire to do so. Why would I have to? ... other than, when I call just about any company, (for "Tech Support", or whatever) ... I have to elect whether I want to chat with company representatives in Spanish or English and wind up with some nice person in India who speaks neither. I am a legal alien. I jumped through the hoops and became a naturalized American Citizen, (Mineola, New York, 1965). The answer is ludicrously simple and horribly offensive/intrusive. Have our Federal Government issue a Social Security Picture ID. renewable each year, when you file your income tax return. Criminalize hiring an illegal alien ... to the point that doing so is cost prohibitive. Like I said ... horribly offensive/intrusive ... and it will happen because it is the only solution. I hope, I'm wrong. I also hope I 'm wrong about: WASHINGTON (AP) -- Official: Agency testing machine, but draft not imminent. "The Selective Service System is planning a comprehensive test of the military draft machinery, which hasn't been run since 1998 ... Meanwhile, the secretary for Veterans Affairs said that "society would benefit" if the U.S. were to bring back the draft and that it shouldn't have any loopholes for anyone who is called to serve. Secretary Jim Nicholson later issued a statement saying he does not support re-instituting a draft." With our President calling for a larger military and the branches of our military currently not making necessary enlistment quotas ... share with me ... how we will increase the size of our armed forces without a draft? ... <whispering> .... Course, we could always draft illegal aliens. Kill two birds with one stone!.
NEW YORK (AP) -- Reality check: 95 percent of Americans had premarital sex. "More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past. "This is reality-check research," said the study's author, Lawrence Finer. "Premarital sex is normal behavior for the vast majority of Americans, and has been for decades." I suppose this means, 95% of the brides getting married, should not be wearing "white" dresses at their weddings ... and why, displaying a bloody sheet after the wedding night is no longer an established custom, (in some cultures, it still is). Course, the good news remains "Laser Hymenoplasty", "Laser Hymenoplasty (reconstruction of the hymen) can repair the hymen as if nothing ever occurred". This may be something we need to include in a "pre-nup" ... "should husband seek a dissolution of the parties marriage, husband agrees to make wife "whole", by paying for a "Laser Hymenoplasty" and wife, having been made whole, waives any interest in maintenance". As lawyers, we need to stay on top of changes in medical technology ... and seek appropriate remedies for our clients who suffer damages from things like, "Hymen Fraud". ... <whispering> ... this may be the beginnings of a new set of "niche" practices!! Only goes to show ... as long as the general public has access to love and alcohol ... you and I have job security. And in related news: LONDON, England (AP) -- Triplets for woman with two wombs. "A woman with two wombs has given birth to three children in what is believed to the first case of its kind, a hospital official said Friday. Hannah Kersey, 23, gave birth to three girls in September, said Richard Dottle, a spokesman for Southmead Hospital in Bristol where the triplets were born ... The girls -- two identical twins delivered from one womb and a single baby from the other -- were born seven weeks early by Caesarean, the British Broadcasting Corp. reported ... Separate or partially joined wombs are uncommon, although not rare. About one woman in 1,000 has them. " I didn't know that! So 20 out of the 20,000 women attending a Chief's game, have two wombs? Any way of telling who they are? I had some ideas ... but decided to keep them to myself.
JAKARTA, Indonesia (Reuters) -- $110 hamburger lands on Jakarta hotel menu. "A hotel in Indonesia is dishing out a hamburger that costs more than twice the monthly minimum wage in some parts of the country. The $110 hamburger offered by the Four Seasons is made of Kobe beef with foie gras, Portobello mushrooms and Korean pears -- served with french fries, of course." Food is one of the basics in Maslow's Hierarchy. I didn't have a clue what "Kobe Beef" is ... and there is such a thing as beef sushi? I do now. Germans have steak tar-tar, "Hackfleisch". Sheesh ... wish we had a German Butcher Shop in Holden/Warrensburg!! I miss German sausages, I miss German delicacies, like smoked eel and smoked "Whiting" and pickled "Herring". Not available, locally, (the pickled Herring is ... and Susan gags each time I munch on a chunk!! Like I do when she munches on "grits"). I suppose the good news is, (found out today): Holden will have a Chinese Restaurant, due to open in February or March. We now have a "Subway", "God Fathers" and "Sonic". There are three new developments ... an expected 280 new families moving to town. I guess Holden is growing. But, I am happy to report, I can't see $110.00 hamburgers in Holden, any time soon.
LONDON, England (AP) -- Study: Citizen robots will want rights. "Robots might one day be smart enough to demand emancipation from their human owners, raising the prospects they'll have to be treated as citizens, according to a speculative paper released by the British government." Didn't we have this conversation about human clones? I suppose at some point we will have to reexamine our definition of "life" ... and more important, our obligation, (or even if we have one), to respect it.
OLYMPIA, Washington (AP) -- Officials fine with menorah, balk on birth of Jesus. "The state's Christmas tree controversy has shifted from the airport to the Capitol, where the governor lit a menorah this week, but officials rejected a Nativity scene. It all started earlier this month with the plastic holiday trees at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. A rabbi wanted to add a large menorah to the display, but airport officials, worried about lawsuits and requests from other religions, ordered the trees removed instead. They put the trees back up a few days later -- without a menorah -- after Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky of Chabad Lubavitch in Seattle said he wouldn't sue." For too many people, the only symbol of the season that matters ... is the price tag on the gift they are shopping for. How sad is that?
LONDON, England (AP) -- Flu virus 'could kill 81 million'. "If a flu virus as deadly as the one that caused 1918 Spanish flu struck today, it could kill as many as 81 million worldwide, a new study estimates. By applying historical death rates to modern population data, the researchers calculated a death toll of 51 million to 81 million, with a median estimate of 62 million." H5N1 is currently simmering in Russia, Eastern Europe, Nigeria, South Vietnam, South Korea and China. This is not an "if" issue ... this is a "when" issue. I have been warning you for the past couple of years ... I hope you have paid attention and set up your "quarantine stash", (Click on the link and get a copy of the checklist printed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services ... and consider why they would prepare one if there was no risk?). Humor me ... set up your stash. If nothing else, it is a good hedge against inflation. 'Nuff said.
Sitting here editing these Ramblings, while listening to a song playing on a Website: http://www.christmaswishmovie.com/. Even with Susan baking "doggie cookies" for her "furry" children, Ft. Timmerman glowing with the decorations Susan put up to make the Fort festive and all the wonderful smells ... yes, even doggie cookies smell good when they are baking ... my heart bleeds for our men and women in uniform. They are away from their loves ones, in a war zone, living with the fear they could die tomorrow. In two days, many of us will celebrate the birth of the "Prince of Peace" ... and pray, His teaching/visions will finally come to fruition: Love God ... and love one another as God loves you. A simple, beautiful, mandate, taught by many and yet, after 2,000 years, still not a reality. Perhaps, as a species, we are not worthy of God's love ... not worthy of redemption? And then, when it seems we are surrounded by darkness, we see individuals, human lights, shining, living lives that chase away the darkness and the shadows of evil. There is no doubt much of this world lives in many forms of darkness, perhaps the worst being a denial of individual freedom and our common humanity ... but there are also, so many points of light ... so many lives making a difference. It is difficult for me at times, to remember, that darkness is only the absence of light. You and I are just two of many lights: we stand in good company. Please, remember our men and women in uniform, (say a prayer, send good wishes, for their safe and soon return). Be and sleep well tonight ... enjoy the freedom to enjoy this holiday season ... there are those sacrificing time with their loved ones, here at home and overseas, so you can. Susan and I wish you the very best of this holiday season ... and if this post offends ... please know I apologize ... I have no desire to do so. As always ...
A Warm Brotherly Hug
Karl (the dumb ole country lawyer from Holden, Missouri).
Karl H. Timmerman M.A. J.D. © 2006
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