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A MISSOURI LAWYER'S DECEMBER 17, 2004 |
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Archived Prior Ramblings |
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Greets and Huggers. Posted the evening of December
17, 2004. It has always perplexed me that most lawyers don't like to
do "Family Law" ... I wonder why? I know it requires more
hand holding. It requires greater "client control" in
terms of sharing the legal consequences of their behaviors. You have to
take the time to research and know what legal options are available
because they seem to change, week to week. Most difficult, you have
to have a strong ethical and moral self base: you can not let
yourself sink into your client's mode: helping your client get a
pound of flesh, is not, never has been, a viable solution for
helping your client become whole. "Family Law" is about
helping your client learn how to deal with the pain of being
rejected or the pain of walking away: to help your client heal or
show a way for them to do so. Unless you are content, comfortable
with who you are, you can not do "family law" without becoming a
vegetable because ... it becomes about you, your shortcomings, your
inadequacies. Absent a strong ethical and moral base, you can not help but
take it personally. If you do, you have failed yourself and have failed
your client. You are paid to see the forest while your client
is sitting on a limb, on a tree, with leaves shoved up their nose. They
only see green. Share with me, what purpose you serve ... if
you are sitting there next to them and spend your time talking about
leaves? All other areas of the law serve and help their clients by getting
them money and thus, making them fiscally "whole", while a
"Family Law" guy helps his/her client become whole, by helping
them move on, by teaching them how to do it, how to heal, (or
putting them in touch with someone who can). That's what I do. I have very little to Ramble about tonight, did not have the interest to research news events. I have very little to share tonight. I have spent the last couple of days soul searching and praying. Trying to make sense of the nonsensical. A friend buried her 16 year old daughter today. The child shot herself to death Wednesday. My heart is bleeding. I can not even come close to understanding my friends grief, (and the inevitable feelings of guilt.) "Suicides among young people nationwide have increased dramatically in recent years. Each year in the U.S., thousands of teenagers commit suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds." 3rd leading cause of death for 15 - 24 year olds ??!! Hold your kid close tonight: just think of what your life would be like if you could no longer do so. In the same vein, my daughter and I have been emailing each other. She sent me her picture, (she is beautiful :) It is one thing to know you have a child, (and rather than put that child in the center of a custody battle, not file contempt proceedings to enforce visitation, but rather sit back, send cards, Christmas and birthday presents and wait for that child to get old enough, strong enough, to contact you, (my daughter shared that she was arguing with her mother because she had contacted me)), and have a child die. On the one hand, my heart is singing about rekindling a relationship with my daughter and on the other, I feel such despair/guilt about my friends loss. The posts on the SFIG about "hunting", "XP Home vs. Pro" or "Privatizing Social Security" seem trivial to me right now. Perhaps, when I figure these feelings out, when I work them through to a point where I can share them, I will. But not tonight. Sitting here watching the evening news while burning my CD collection onto the 40 gig IPod Susan bought me as a Christmas present, ... <chuckling> ... I know, I know ... she is no better at holding presents than I am!! She gave it to me early. I have uploaded 1,323 songs, (and have 35+ gig of storage left!!) She also gave me the ITrip adapter that plays the IPod through your car radio, (IT WORKS REALLY WELL!!!). .... <whispering to my little brother Karl D> ... Ok, Ok, Ok .... it is way cool ... but I'm not dumping my PC's!! On the evening news: the military is far short in its recruiting goals. Does the word "Draft" ring a bell? All is well at Ft Timmerman, although, after thinking about the funeral today, subdued. The Christmas lights just don't seem to be as bright, the smells not as sweet and the Christmas Carols, playing in the background ... seem hollow. Perhaps, this is a reminder to some of us, as to why we should take the time to celebrate the promise of Christmas? Tonight, Susan and I, (as we have the past several nights), will say a prayer for my friend and her daughter, (that God give her strength: how can any person deal/live with such pain?) Be and sleep well ... the best there is, is on watch, (and join me in sending a prayer/wish, that our men and women come home safe and soon.) If my post offends, I apologize ... that is not my intent. As always ... A Warm Brotherly Hug Karl (the dumb ole country lawyer from Holden, Missouri) |
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Karl H. Timmerman
M.A.J.D. © 2004
All Rights Reserved |
