A MISSOURI LAWYER'S
MAY 6, 2005
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Greets and Huggers. Posted the evening of May 6, 2005. It is,
already, May 6th! How can that be? Why is my life, time, accelerating? When I
was a kid, the summers used to last forever ... now, I blink ... a day is gone
... a couple of blinks and summer is spent, over? Why has my life turned into a
slide show? I drive to the Grandview office and the trees have no leaves ...
and I look again ... and everything is in full bloom. Brown/gray landscapes
have turned into many shades of green. Two seasons of my life have passed and
looking back .... I didn't make enough time to enjoy them. Why did I allow
myself to get so wrapped up, focused on the minutiae of making a living, that I
missed the simple pleasure/beauty of watching and experiencing the birth of
each day? Aren't there a limited number of sunrises in each life? Why did I
allow the flames, the fire, in my first marriage to die? Was it really
necessary to be that busy, that wrapped up in me and my "profession"?
Why didn't I throw a log on that fire ... (if not for my benefit, then for the
benefit of my children?) ...... instead of having to build a new one? Why
haven't I taken the time to celebrate God's most precious gift to me: my
life? I wonder ... aren't these the questions asked by someone who finds out
they are terminal? .... <whispering> ..... Aren't we all terminal?
Shouldn't I make the time now ... before there is no time left! Shouldn't you?
Been thinking about relationships this week .... because my daughter asked, "when do you know you are "In Love"? My first reaction? "Who is this boy I will have to kill if he hurts my daughter?" Don't the same hormones flow for love ... as for .... hate? Isn't it our life experiences that determine how we label them? I don't know of any person who checked into this life with an "owner's manual", (Chapter 3 "How to tell if you are in love".) I suppose no "Owner's Manual" forces us to live life by "trial and error". Doesn't that mean we are programmed to fail and learn from our mistakes, (in religious terms, isn't that the true meaning of "free will"?). Some profess the "Bible", the "Koran" or the "Vedas" are an owners manual. They aren't, they are ethical roadmaps. Living a life worth living, can not be taught ... if it were, couldn't, wouldn't, we learn from other people's mistakes? I'm not smart enough to do so. Have not met any one who is. From my experiences as a psychologist and as a divorce lawyer there are two types of partnership relationships, the "Sandbox" and the "Beach". Sadly most people go through life living a "Sandbox" relationship ... never figuring out that it only emulates the beach and never growing beyond the confines of "the box". How would they know? A relationship defined in terms of "you and I", as opposed to "us", "we" or "you before I". A "Sandbox" relationship lacks the depth of commitment, the "you before I", (the feeling of being ... to use a popular current phrase, "soulmates"). By the Grace of God, (and a lot of hard work in terms of learning how to place your partner first, become "we"), some of us have managed to get to the beach ) Does it get any better than sharing a sunset, (old age), on a beach, holding the person who makes your life worth living?
ABC News on Tuesday evening, aired a report about "spanking", (corporal punishment of children), being a religious duty. "Tyler Wallick says it is out of faith and love that he spanks his children. He is one of a number of fundamentalist Christians, who in their literal interpretation of the Bible, regard corporal punishment as a religious and parental duty ... The bottom line is people who do not think it is OK to paddle their children do not believe God's word," he said. Dr. James Dobson, founder of the fundamentalist Christian agency, Focus on the Family "There is no excuse for spanking babies or children younger than 15 to 18 months of age. But midway through the second year (18 months) boys and girls become capable of knowing what your telling them to do or not do ... If children cry for longer than five minutes, "the child is merely complaining...I would require him to stop the protest crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the original tears." Interesting, doesn't "I will inflict pain on your body if you do not do what I say." send a powerful message to a child? And there is a tool for every job. "Susan Lawrence is pressing US authorities to ban sales of The Rod , .... [look at the picture of it!!] .... a $5 whipping tool .... The Rod," a $5 flexible whipping stick, was described as the ''ideal tool for child training." There are folks using this "tool" in the name of God? "The switch, rod or straight stick is a very handy tool to accomplish some special tasks that must be done ..." Sorry, I don't get it. You need a tool to discipline your child? See, my God, gave me a hand, with a palm, that is sensitive to pain ... when swatting a rear end, it feels as much pain as it gives. Maybe that is God's way of making sure we never inflict more pain on our children, than we nor they, can stand. Not that I believe in corporal punishment, (the American Psychological Society, (APA), and just about every study I've ever read in the past 20 years, doesn't either). Frankly, there is a very small window of time, that corporal punishment, physical force, is effective, (or necessary, unless your kid is smarter than you) ... and only then, to enforce social sanctions ... a "Time Out", like making a child sit in a corner and giving them a swat on their rear end if they get up. I must admit, I'm not a fundamentalist Christian .... so, I have a really hard time picturing Jesus beating a child. Don't you?
And other craziness "... the Food and Drug Administration is about to implement new rules recommending that any man who has engaged in homosexual sex in the previous five years be barred from serving as an anonymous sperm donor." How would they know? And being gay is a behavioral choice, a sin, isn't it? Why not ban all sinners from being anonymous sperm donors? What if being gay has a genetic basis? If there is a genetic bases, doesn't this block gay men from the gene pool? We don't need another Leonardo daVinci or Michelangelo, do we? The FDA wants to protect the American public from what? Gay babies? Or maybe, HIV infected sperm, (isn't it subject to the same screening tests as blood)? Gay men are not precluded from giving blood, are they? "Under these rules, a heterosexual man who had unprotected sex with HIV-positive prostitutes would be OK as a donor one year later, but a gay man in a monogamous, safe-sex relationship is not OK unless he's been celibate for five years," said Leland Traiman, director of a clinic in Alameda, California, that seeks gay sperm donors." Doesn't that beg the question, "Why seek gay sperm donors?" Never thought about it ... but, is there a way to tell gay sperm from regular heterosexual sperm? Maybe, under a microscope, a bunch of heterosexual sperm look like a Navy Seal Combat Team ... and a bunch of gay sperm look like "The Village People"? <humming> ..... Y ...... M ...... C ...... A ...
In science news this week, a delicate subject "Premature ejaculation occurs in just under two minutes, as opposed to about seven minutes for men able to stay the course ... Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common male sexual dysfunction, affecting approximately 20 percent to 30 percent of the male population at any one time ... " according to Stanley Althof of Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Ohio. "The researchers timed ejaculations by giving stopwatches to the sex partners of more than 1,500 men ... A man with the condition took 1.8 minutes to ejaculate after beginning intercourse compared to 7.3 minutes for most of the men." The study was funded by Alza Corp. and Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceutical Services, LLC, (which are seeking Food and Drug Administration approval for the drug dapoxetine for treating premature ejaculation.) ... and rumor has it, the National Organization for Women. Don't you wonder what you offer 1,500 women to get them to use a stopwatch? How about a marriage license?
Yes Dorothy, the mental munchkins of Oz started their Scopes Trial yesterday, in Topeka, Kansas. According to the Kansas City Star, when the "hearing" convened, there was a full house ... by noon, there were plenty of empty seats. [For a links contrasting evolution and creation science, click HERE, and a good article in National Geographic Magazine, HERE] Nothing left to say. No possible way to change any person's mind. Faith remains faith. <whispering> ... isn't that the crux of the debate faith v. science? 'Nuff said.
Not reported in the United States press, India, (a known nuclear power), launched two satellites into orbit yesterday, (one of them weighing 1.5 tons). "The launch "reaffirms the emergence of India as a major space power", Prime Minister Manmohan Singh told parliament in New Delhi. .... The biggest satellite, the 1.5-tonne Cartosat-1, will supply high-resolution pictures for more precise maps for planning towns, laying new roads, digging canals, disaster assessment and water resources management." Rumor has it, it will also be used to map every 7-11, Motel 6, and out-sourced tech-support center, managed or owned by Indian nationals. India and Pakistan, are nations that have a history of national animosity, of waging war against each other, both now have nuclear weapons ..... and the means to deliver them!!! Be worried.
And finally, in a longitudinal studyinvolving 6,654 persons over a 10 year period, released in The Lancet, this week "Weight Gain Can Negate Key Benefit of Men's Quitting Smoking ... On average weight gain diminished the benefits of improved lung function by 38% in men ... Graham Colditz, M.D., a Harvard epidemiologist, noted that smoking cessation triggers a number of changes including change in food preferences, increased appetite and decreased metabolic rate, "all of which might contribute to weight gain." So choose the way you want to croak: lung cancer if you continue to smoke .... or .... diabetes, stroke and heart attack, when you pork out from quitting. Hmmm ... I know people in their late 70's who still smoke, (although they are few and far between). I don't know anyone in their late 60's who is obese. Don't know what that means, (although, checking out because of a heart attack ... has to be a better way to go, than dying an inch at a time from lung cancer).
I sent my $20.00 to Tonnie Martin earlier this evening. 'Nuff said.
Sitting here editing these Ramblings, sipping on some wine, (Fairbanks, Cream Sherry), and thinking about the influence Fundamentalist Christians are exerting in the public arena. The "Creation Science" debacle in Kansas? The Catholic Archbishop, who refused to grant Communion to politicians who do not vote the Church line? The FDA banning gay sperm donors? Proposed legislation, criminalizing stem cell research? Some States enacting constitutional amendments prohibiting gay-marriage? SpongeBob square pants? The Schiavo fiasco? Legislation limiting a woman's right to control her body? And a push to punish "activist judges", (the judges that are enforcing separation of church and state? Enforcing the contract we have with our elected representative our Constitution.) Every day seems to bring another example of our leaders or leaders in our communities, inching closer to imposing their Fundamentalist Christian values on me and mine? In the late 80's and early 90's, our Federal Government mandated administrative procedures that effectively by-passed fundamental notions of "Due Process", in the name of "putting food in some child's mouth" and based on the "will of the people". Expedited means of ordering and collecting child support, without all that messy "due process" stuff ... the law in Missouri, until the Bradley Dream Team forced a change. You and I have sat idly back and watched the enactment of the Patriot Act, we did nothing. This week, the Director of Homeland Security suggested, in order to keep our America safe and secure, we spy on our neighbors, (report terrorists). Didn't the Germans go through the same thing in the early 30's? Didn't we go through this with Japanese American's in the early 40's and "Communists" in the early 50's? Didn't we learn anything? Didn't we learn that our America is strongest when it respects the privacy of it's citizens, when it does not impose the moral will of the majority ... on the minority. When we mandate that our Judges do their most important job: enforce our Constitution. Doesn't that ensure that we as a nation, remain a nation of laws, rather than a nation of a few powerful men, (who stand above the law ... does Bill Clinton and perjury ring a bell?)
I make it a point to throw a log on Susan and I's fire. Easy to do, an "I love and appreciate you", whispered at times. A phone call when I head back from court. A little nothing gift, (like the single $1.99 rose available at our local gas station, when I tank up, just to let her know I was thinking about her). Cooking her lunch, while she does the laundry or going into her office and just giving her a hug. It is the simple touching ... showing respect and affection, that makes life on the Beach as good as it is. And tonight, when I fall asleep curled around her, I will thank God for giving me the best partner, lover, friend a man can have ... and in spite of all my shortcomings, (they are many), she still loves me ... I know, because she treats me the way I do her ... she throws logs on our fire as well. Be and sleep well, knowing the best there is, is on watch so you can, (would you join me in a prayer/wish, for their safe return? .... <whispering> ..... Please, Please, Please, God ... let them come home safe and soon!! If my post offends, I apologize ... that is not my intent. As Always ...
A Warm Brotherly Hug
Karl (the dumb ole country lawyer from Holden, Missouri)
Karl H. Timmerman M.A.J.D. © 2005
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