Karl H. Timmerman M.A.J.D. 2004
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Missouri Solo and Small Firm Internet Group
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MARCH 5, 2004

The "Ramblings" are a series of emails sent, for the most part, on Friday night, to the Missouri Solo and Small Firm Internet Group, ("the List"),  listserve.    "The List" is a "support" group, a virtual "family", comprised of Missouri Solo and Small Firm Lawyers. It is not affiliated with the Missouri Bar Association: "the List"  is self governing and self moderating. Compiled here are the Ramblings for 2002 - 2004.  They contain my random thoughts and observations on current events and my life as a Solo Lawyer. They are the Ramblings of a small town, (Holden, population 2,700), Missouri, country lawyer.
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In Memorium:
September 11, 2001
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Greets and Huggers.  Posted the evening of March 5, 2004.  While adding recipe "links" to the "My Diet" and "Porkyboy Reviews" webpage,  started wondering if there were any REALLY OLD "low carb" recipes.  Just what did folks eat a couple of thousand years ago?  One of the oldest "western" cook books, with ancient Greek and Roman recipes, was written by Marcus Gavius Apicius  around 1 AD, "De condituris" and a compilation of recipes attributed to Apicius, "De re coquinaria", in 4 AD.  Amazingly, translated copies of these books are still available!  Almost all the recipes  use a very salty, pungent,  fish sauce called Liquamen and Garum, similar to Philippine "baboong", (fermented shrimp paste),  Vietnamese "nuoc mam", (fermented anchovies) and French "pissalat", (a paste made from anchovies and olive oil).  The diet was high in fish, fruits, eggs, beans and whole grains, (all complex carbs):  meat, for the common person was a rare treat.  The diet was similar in ancient Egypt  and Palestine.  The main meal was in the evening.  In the America's, the main meal was in the morning.  Non nomadic ancient peoples ate mainly "maize", (corn) either boiled or roasted and for special occasions ground down and made into tortillas and in South America, potato as well as fish, "nunuma", (a variety of birds) and some meat when it was available.  Two thousand years ago, we ate no "processed" carbs: we ate whole grain bread, alot of fish, eggs, beans, milk, fruit and some vegetables.  Geez ... and everybody drank lots of wine  and beer, (in some form).  Keep in mind, the "maize", potatoes and grains then available, were kibbles and twigs compared to the highly evolved carbohydrate/sugar rich products cultivated today.  The oldest condiment? Sesame seeds.  Close your eyes, take a moment, and remember the last time you walked through your local grocery store:  so .... what percentage was un-processed ..... organically grown, "kibbles and twigs",  food?  Wonder why we are overweight/obese?

Speaking of which,  McDonald's is "
down sizing":   "supersized" french fries and drinks have been dropped from the menu.   Film maker Morgan Spurlock won accolades at the Sundance Film Festival for his documentary, "Super Size Me", (he filmed the effect, on his body, of eating three meals a day for 30 days at McDonald':   he gained 25 pounds in one month).  Like a "Big Mac" is health food?  Guess "fast food addicts" will have to "down size" their wallet for a fat fix. Yup, another "addiction".  Another "I'm not responsible for the dumb ass choices I make.  They have made me an addict".   Next time you are waiting in line behind an obviously obese person at McDonald's, (who is "supersizing"), tap them on the shoulder and acknowledge how they are being victimized by McDonald's.  Course, you could also say:  "Have you considered "supersizing" a salad?" On a side note, research released today, (Framingham Children's Study), "Children who skimp on milk and other dairy food to avoid calories actually appear to substantially increase their risk of becoming overweight." The study was funded in part by the National Dairy Council.  Gee ...  would switching from low fat milk to high sugar soft drinks contribute to weight gain? Duh!!!   'Nuff said.

NASA  reported this week, that the newest evidence suggests, in the past, there may have been substantial amounts of water on Mars.   They then concluded Mars may have had, supported life.    Guess that means there had to have been a "night life" as well.   So what did "disco" on Mars look like?  (As of today ... no polyester fibers have been found ...  no leisure suits).  Mars now appears to be desolate:   just sand and rocks ....  lifeless.  An anonymous source at NASA has shared with me .... they have found the remnants of a "Same Sex Marriage License" on Mars.  Frankly ...  all of the pictures of Martian landscapes I have seen ... are .... well ...  the landscape is color coordinated, everything seems very organized, very fashionable. Maybe NASA, for planetary purposes, with Hubble, has a straight eye on a queer guy.  (See what happens if you allow same sex marriages  .... good to know what killed all life on Mars).

From Thursdays Kansas City Star:  "A woman charged with causing a fatal car crash said she could not have been behind the wheel because she was performing a sex act on the driver." Seems Heather
Specyalski  is charged with 2nd degree manslaughter, (as the driver),  in a 1999 fatal single vehicle accident that killed Connecticut business man Neil Esposito.  Esposito was thrown from his Mercedes-Benz convertible when it veered off the road and struck several trees.  Jeremiah Donovan, (Specyalki's attorney), shared that "Esposito was driving and that she [Specyalski] was performing oral sex on him" ...... he further noted that:  "Esposito's pants were down when he was thrown from the car."  Interesting:  they call it the "Lewinsky Defense".  Geez ....  wonder why?  I have it on good authority, Mercedes-Benz will include an oral sex sensor in the dash board of their new model E69, (to avoid potential oral sex liability) ..... although I personally think ...  the bright red warning label, about oral sex while operating the vehicle, on the visor, will impact their market share of the Southern Baptist Community.   Instead of trying to limit damage awards, I think our elected representatives should concentrate on "Tart Reform", not product liability.

Read an interesting book this week:   "
The Proper Care and Feeding Of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  As a male and divorce lawyer for 21+ years, I would recommend this book, as a "must" read, for any woman who wants to improve her marriage, (or for that matter, stay married).  "... [M]en are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration and approval from a woman ....  women need to better appreciate the magnitude of their power and influence over men ... Give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good lovin', and he'll do just about anything you wish -- foolish or not." Good advice for anyone contemplating marriage.  Marriage is not a "me first" thing!  'Nuff said.

Sitting here at Ft Timmerman, editing these Ramblings, (sipping on some BBB) and watching the evening news: 
Ashcroft  is in intensive care for "Gallstones  and Pancreatitis" not surprising when you consider he has more "gall" than any national figure I know.     Martha Stewart  was found guilty of all 4 charges against her.  She is looking at jail time.  She is expected to release her new formal "Orange Jumpsuit" leisure line later this year, (her book, "Entertaining in Confining Places", will be released next spring).   The final version of Judge Russell's  formal picture has been selected  All is well at Ft Timmerman.  We are still tweaking Susan's insulin pump.  She has lost weight counting carbs, (you have to input the approximate number of carbs you will eat, so the pump will provide the correct amount of insulin).  Without a doubt, the "Glycemic Index", (the basis for "My Diet") and limiting herself to an average 30 complex carbs per meal has resulted in having to inject less insulin.  I remain graced by her gentle beauty, (and pray I will have the privilege of calling her "My Lady" for years to come).  And speaking of prayer,  I will say a prayer tonight as I drift off to sleep, (holding the most beautiful Lady a man can have, who honors me with her "direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good lovin'),  for Susan and I, for our men and women in uniform and for you.  Be and sleep well knowing, the best there is, is on watch so you can. If my post offends, I apologize ... that is not my intent.

A Warm Brotherly Hug
Karl (the dumb ole country lawyer from Holden, Missouri).

       "The very best thing about taking the moral high ground     .............   is the view"  ..."
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