A MISSOURI LAWYER'S
FEBRUARY 18, 2005
Archived Prior Ramblings
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Greets and Huggers. Posted the evening of February
18, 2005. Some observations about our profession and the Practice of Law.
Once upon a time, lawyers learned the profession, learned how to practice
law, by "reading the law": in essence, an apprenticeship. Today,
"Puppy Sharks", although trained by law schools to pass a Bar
Exam by studying the "Common
Law" and "Black
Letter" law ... have no clue what the actual practice of law is
about, (a good and logical reason for having a mandatory Bar Association:
an organization set up to protect the general public FROM puppy
sharks/lawyers.) Medical schools, on the other hand, teach
surgeons what body parts are, where they are located, what they look like
and .... how to sharpen scalpels. But, unlike the legal
profession, the medical profession requires a two year internship, then a
residency for another couple of years, (both a form of involuntary
servitude): "pen knives" are supervised and mentored by
before being turned loose to malpractice on the general population. They
inherently, as a population, pose less of a threat because of the
additional training. Once licensed, they become a member of the
"healing arts", a very powerful "brotherhood"
set up to isolate and protect them FROM the general public, (why else
would they have a 2 year statute of limitations for their mistakes and a
$250,000.00 liability cap?). Puppy Sharks, on the other hand, are churned
out by our law schools handicapped by some fundamental misunderstandings
about the practice of law because they are taught to pass a Bar Exam, not
practice law. They know where to find the law, but have no clue as
to how to apply the law to real life fact patterns, (or turn the knowledge
of where to find the law into cash: earn a livelihood). They learn
the practice of law, and the law that REALLY MATTERS, "Intestinal
Law", by trial and error. "Intestinal Law" is
in fact, the real law of the land: it is the snipits of common and black
letter law, judges use to reach the resolution they feel is appropriate in
a given fact scenario. It can not be found in written form: it
is an oral tradition, shared among the lawyers who practice before a given
judge, (there is much wisdom in the maxim: "A good lawyer
knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge".)
Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the process that results in a license to
practice law? Perhaps, it is time for Law Schools to require a
"practicum" before awarding a Juris Doctorate?
Perhaps it is time, as part of a Law School's curriculum, to have a course
in "Intestinal Law", ("Intestinal Law 101":
this course discusses ethical considerations and creative approaches on
how to ex-parte a judge).
Found the Tort Reform posts from this week interesting: such a gnashing of teeth, such a wringing of hands. Has it dawned on you yet, that this battle was lost a couple of years ago? It is now time to regroup, organize and think about winning the war. From the February 21, 2003 Ramblings: "Posted the evening of February 21, 2003. The "Walls of Jerico" didn't come "tumbling down" from the sound of a single trumpet: neither will "Tort Reform". Do you really think the sound of a David Ransin, Bryan Scheiderer or Gretchen Mayers et. al. (as eloquent as they are), can make a difference, individually? They cannot. It is the sound of many JOINED trumpets that make a difference. So where is MATA? Where was and is the SOUND of MATA's trumpets? Four lawyers at the hearing? The BDT won every battle but lost the War .... my shortcoming: my failure. [Footnote: the BDT DID win the war, not in court, but by lobbying our representatives: our elected representatives enacted legislation barring an administrative agency from modifying judicial orders.] I did not understand the power or the use of THE Trumpet. I do now. Set up a "Tort Deform Team", (TDT) .... shamelessly solicit members .... where, the member commits to sending emails to their friends and elected representatives. I nominate Bryan Schiederer as Team Leader, (David Ransin as Chief of Staff). Set up an "email list" to keep the TDT members informed, up to date and supply the email addresses of the various "elected representatives" so the TDT members can share those addresses with their friends. Count me in as a member of the TDT! I will design a "Logo" :) Count on a T-Shirt!!" We did nothing. We just went on with our lives as Solo and Small Firm lawyers, Care to do something now? Organize a massive "trumpet"? 'Nuff said.
In science news: "Scientists have identified the "come hither" scent that female German cockroaches use to lure males ...
Female cockroaches emit a pheromone, or chemical attractant, to let males know they are ready to mate." The research further finds that the cockroaches you see scurrying about are sexually immature: "Most of the cockroaches you see running around, about 80 percent, are nymphs (sexually immature cockroaches) that wouldn't be affected by the pheromone ..." .... <scratching his head> .... fascinating!!! I thought all cockroaches were male, (how else did they get their name?) ... <whispering> .... so ... what are female cockroaches called? Wouldn't that be the world's worst job? .... Lifting little cockroach legs to determine their gender or when they get sexually aroused?
In other news: "A Vatican-linked university is offering courses on Satanism, black magic and exorcism, in a bid to educate clergy and seminarians about the lure of the devil ... Among the widely accepted signs of possession by the devil are speaking in unknown tongues ... " Well ... perhaps that explains why Mass is no longer celebrated in Latin. What about Pentecostal Churches, where speaking in tongues is considered part of "holiness"? Protestant congregations practice exorcism as well: they call it "The Sermon", (guaranteed to put any demon, devil or follower of Satan to sleep.)
Sitting here editing these Ramblings, sipping on some Port and thinking about why our judges are under siege? The concentrated attack, (by some Christian Fundamentalists, including Phyllis Schlafly), of Judge Teitelman comes to mind. Perhaps as my Dear Friend David Ransin opined ... it is an attempt to limit our freedoms, by having Judges that enforce the contract we have with our elected representatives, Our Constitution, replaced by Judges who view their role differently. The fact remains, our Judges remain the last line of defense against majoritarian tyranny. It saddens me to see the fundamental lack of understanding about how our America works, the greatness of our system of "checks and balances", by those that wrongly view a Judge as being "activist" when that judge refuses to enforce legislation which infringes on the Constitutionally guaranteed rights of the minority. Perhaps one reason our judges are under fire, is the fact, that they have isolated themselves from the rank and file practicing law: our Courthouses no longer have the lawyers lounge right next to the Judges Chambers? Perhaps, as well, we, as a group have stopped talking about what lawyers really do? Our television persona reflects a group of self centered, greedy, immoral jerks: not the heros, protectors of our system of justice, like my personal hero, Atticus Finch, (click HERE to hear his closing argument in "To Kill a Mocking Bird"). On the evening news: Springfield, the home town of Homer Simpson will enact an ordinance recognizing gay marriage, in an upcoming episode, (Duh!!! No comment). The Flu is hitting the Kansas City area pretty hard: 4 schools were closed today because of lack of attendance and three of our local hospital emergency rooms are also closed: no room. At Ft Timmerman, all is well. Susan is putting away laundry ... while the "Damn Yorkies" follow her, room to room. "Glutius Maximus", (Max ... the pain in my *ss Yorkie), is sitting on the stool next to me ... and doing what male Yorkies do best ... burp and fart, (according to Susan ... we have alot in common!) And me? Just grateful to have Susan and all her "furry babies", be a part of my life. Nothing better in life, after a long day, on a cold night, than curling around the person that makes it all worthwhile. As I do each night ... I will give thanks for God's tender mercies and pray for the safe return of our men and women in uniform ... would you care to join me in that prayer/sending of good wishes? <whispering> ..... Please, Please, Please, God ... let them all come home safe and soon!!! Be and sleep well, knowing the best there is, is on watch so you can. If my post offends ... I apologize ... that is not my intent. As always ...
A Warm Brotherly Hug
Karl (the dumb ole country lawyer from Holden, Missouri)
Karl H. Timmerman M.A.J.D. © 2005
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